


The Hottest Weasley

by CheezLord12



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Perciver - Freeform, ginny is the hottest Weasley but she’s only 12 in this, set in PoA, so I guess it’s Charlie then
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:54:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28406583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheezLord12/pseuds/CheezLord12
Summary: A notice appears in the Gryffindor common room, asking a very important question: Who Is The Hottest Weasley?
Relationships: Angelina Johnson/Fred Weasley, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Percy Weasley/Oliver Wood
Comments: 5
Kudos: 192





	The Hottest Weasley

  
  


There was a particularly large notice on the Gryffindor notice board. It had appeared the night before and had been found impossible to remove, no matter how hard the prefects tried. Eventually, they gave up and just let it hang there, it's bright red letters flashing out to the common room.

**Who is The Hottest Weasley?**

Beneath the large title, there was a picture of each of the seven Weasley children, despite the fact that neither Bill or Charlie still attended Hogwarts, along with a space for tally marks beneath the photos. The notice had been on the board for barely half a day, but it was already scattered with tally marks, Charlie in the lead with George not far behind.

Written beneath the pictures were simple instructions, reading the following:

_ Simply point your wand to the notice, say the incantation 'Eligerio', and see which Weasley you find the most good-looking. The notice will only be up for three days, so make sure to do it quickly! _

Everyone from Romilda Vane to Cormac McLaggen had done it, laughing loudly as their wands landed on Ron. Almost every Gryffindor had done it by lunch on the first day, and the notice remained mostly stagnant for the next 36 hours until, finally, on the morning of the third day people woke up to find a change on the notice, one that sent whispers fluttering through the room.

"It was probably Hermione." Harry joked, sniggering.

Hermione's eyes widened. "No, I got Ron!" she exclaimed quickly.

Her two friends looked at her, eyebrows raised and she quickly added, "Probably just because he's my friend! It's not like I—I don't... I  _ didn't _ get Percy!" she shrieked finally. Her and Ron were both flushed and looking at the ground.

"Well, if it wasn't Hermione, who could it have been?" Harry asked quickly, trying to dispel the awkwardness. "I mean,  _ Percy.” _ he shuddered, disgusted. Before he could make any more speculations, Crookshanks leaped forward suddenly, batting at Ron's lap, causing him to start bellowing at Hermione and at Crookshanks. Harry rolled his eyes and turned his attention to trying to pry apart his two friends, the notice all but forgotten.

Meanwhile, across the common room, Fred and George were similarly confused at the results of the notice.

"Alright, I checked the spell." George confirmed, shutting his book. "It shows what is truly in a person's heart, and it can only be fooled by someone with very powerful magic, far more powerful than a Hogwarts student."

Fred sighed. "Does that mean... someone  _ really _ thinks that Percy is the hottest Weasley?" he glanced around suspiciously. "It could be anyone. They could be lurking among us, and we'd never know."

George shuddered. "Oh, that's horrible. I know we said that we'd keep this anonymous, but I think we need to find out whoever got Percy and send them to Madam Pomfrey, or have them get their eyes checked."

"Absolutely," Fred agreed vehemently. "But how? We have no way of knowing."

George licked his lips. "This looks like a time for some good old-fashioned detective work, Freddie. Are you ready to get your hands dirty?"

Fred pulled out his parchment and nodded. "Alright, let's do this."

They started by writing down everyone who'd performed the charm in public and gotten their results in front of everyone, meticulously going through each year of Gryffindors. 

Across the room, at the notice board, Percy Weasley had just noticed the small line beneath his picture. The picture was, of course, incredibly unflattering, showing him working on homework with his face scrunched up in concentration, flecks of ink flying off the parchment as his quill danced wildly.

He blinked at the mark once, twice, hoping it would go away. But it persisted, the small line under his name staring hardly back at him, refusing to go away. Beside him, a chuckle rang out in his ear. He turned suddenly, flinching a little.

It was simply Rosalind, one of the only two girls in his year. "Rosa, you scared me." he breathed.

She laughed again. "I'm sorry, but your face was just too much." She went slack jawed, mocking Percy. 

He  _ tsked, _ turning away from her. "I did  _ not _ look like that."

Rosalind raised her hand to his hair, ruffling it a little. "You did, but that's all right. It was very cute."

Percy's ears warmed and he ducked out from under his hand. "Do you know who..." he tried, glancing at the notice, his ears turning even redder.

They turned as Lola, the other girl in their year approached. She stood next to Rosalind, wearing the same mirthful look as her dorm mate. "Trying to figure out who thinks you're the  _ hottest Weasley? _ " she asked, pressing her lips together to suppress a smile.

Rosalind shrugged. "Sorry, Percy. I didn't see whoever did it. I think they did it late last night, or early this morning."

Percy sighed. "It's probably some sort of prank by Fred and George."

"Maybe." Lola said. "You never know..." she grinned, raising her eyebrows suggestively. Percy was completely beet red by now, and he gave Lola an angry scowl before turning away and walking up to his dorm.

Our final destination is the library, where Oliver Wood was asleep over his homework. He was jarred from his nap by a sharp jab to his arm, and he startled awake to find none other than Angelina Johnson and Alicia Spinnet hovering over him, grinning.

"What's this?" Angelina asked jovially, taking a seat next to him. "Fallen asleep over your—" she peered at his parchment. "—Charms homework?"

Oliver rubbed his eyes, stifling a yawn. "I... yeah, I was getting in some extra quidditch practice this morning." he muttered.

Alicia rolled her eyes. "Of course you were. The game's not for another three weeks, Capitan. Maybe slow down some."

Oliver ignored her, scanning his homework and trying to remember what he'd been doing before he'd fallen asleep. Ah, yes, banishing charms. He started to reread the passage, scribbling answers to the questions and completely ignoring his two teammates.

"Oliver, have you done the hottest Weasley thing yet?"

Oliver looked up, raising an eyebrow. "Why? Have you?"

Alicia grinned widely. "Yes, and she got  _ Fred.” _ She said his name suggestively and waggled her eyebrows. Angelina elbowed her, quickly ending the teasing.

"Did you do it, Oliver?" Angelina asked again.

Oliver turned back to his homework. "Yes, I did."

"Well, who did you get?" Alicia said loudly, attracting the attention of Madam Pince. She bared upon them, snarling viciously.

"Out, you three. And stay out until you learn to keep it down!"

~

By the next morning, the notice had been taken down and results tallied, with Charlie as the winner, followed by George, Bill, Fred, Ron, Ginny, and Percy in dead last. This meant that Lee had won the bet that had started the entire thing, but the three pranksters had utterly forgotten about it in their frenzy to find out who had added the mark under Percy's name.

They had narrowed it down to about a fourth of the house, still quite a few people, but a good start. They whispered about it over the breakfast table that morning, attracting quite a few glares.

"I told you, we can take Dean off, he has a crush on Ginny!" Fred hissed.

"But no one saw him do it, so we can't rule him out until we have  _ proof!” _ Lee hissed back.

George sighed. "Alright, enough about Dean. What about Hermione?"

"Ron." The two of them said simultaneously. George nodded understandingly and marked her off the list.

Further down the table, Penelope Clearwater took a seat at the table between Lola and Rosalind. They nodded a hello to her, ignoring Percy's glare. "Percy," she reminded. "I am allowed to sit wherever I like. You know there are no other Ravenclaw girls in my year."

Percy didn't say anything in response, but his narrowed eyes spoke volumes. Oliver, who'd just arrived, clapped him on the shoulder. "Don't be so hard on her, Percy. Imagine if you didn't have me. Your life would be so dull."

Percy appeared to not have heard, and he stared into space with a dreamy smile starting to spread over his face. Oliver furrowed his brow and waved his hand before Percy. "Percy? What are you doing?"

"Why, I'm just imagining my life without you, Oliver." he said easily, eliciting chuckles from the girls.

Oliver frowned in mock disapproval. "That hurts. It really does."

Percy frowned and sniffed the air. He scooted away from Oliver. "You smell terrible. What, did you run a marathon in your sleep?"

Oliver shook his head. "No, I was practicing quidditch. That's why I woke up so early."

Lola and Rosalind glanced at one another, seeming to have a heated conversation with their eyes. Lola leaned forward and looked at Oliver. "Oliver, how long have you been getting up early for? Did you do it yesterday?"

Luckily for him, before Oliver could answer, Angelina and Alicia arrived, interrupting the conversation. "Oliver's been doing that for almost a month." Angelina informed them, grabbing some toast. "We caught him taking a nap in the library yesterday."

Rosalind snorted, looking at Lola. "Oliver, who did you get on that hottest Weasley thing?"

Penelope creased her brow and was quickly filled in. She raised a questioning eyebrow at Oliver. "Who did you get, Oliver?"

Oliver glanced around, finishing chewing his eggs before answering, "Charlie."

Percy turned slightly pink at the thought of Oliver and his brother... Ugh, that entire hottest Weasley thing was disgusting.

As the conversation turned to the Weird Sisters new song, Harry, Hermione, and Ron walked into the Great Hall together, rubbing sleep from their eyes. As they passed the twins and Lee, Harry overheard George ask, "But who would be awake early in the morning?"

Harry slowed and snorted, tapping George on the shoulder. "You know who never sleeps? Oliver. Whenever I look at the quidditch pitch, he's there. And the first game isn't for another three weeks!"

He'd intended it to be funny, but George was slowly donning a horrified expression, which Lee and Fred soon shared. They looked to Oliver who, sure enough, was sitting next to Percy, talking to him with a smile on his face. Without another word to Harry, they turned to their parchment, whispering furiously.

~

Lola, Rosalind, and Penelope had suggested that they take their homework outside that day and take advantage of the weather before it got too cold, and Percy hadn't really been able to say no. That was how he found himself on the bleachers at the quidditch pitch while the Gryffindor team ran drills above them, because apparently the weather was better there.

Percy didn't really understand it, but Lola had been adamant.

Further down the bleachers, Hermione and Ron sat, casting suspicious glances at the dementors barely visible over the horizon.

Percy looked up to see Oliver making his way to them, slowing down to hover beside them. "Come to watch me play?" he asked them, grinning in a way that made Percy's stomach flip.

Percy couldn't help but smile back, making  _ Oliver's _ stomach flip and causing him to completely miss Rosalind's response. He heard a shout from behind him and turned. "Oliver, stop flirting and do your job!" Fred hollered at him.

Oliver shrugged and gave them an apologetic look before zooming away. 

Fred felt an unpleasant squeeze in his gut when he saw that sure enough, Percy was the one that Oliver had been talking to. The thought of Oliver and his brother... Ugh, Oliver was much too cool. Luckily, he and George had agreed to meet in the announcers box with Lee after practice to figure this thing out once and for all.

As the others leisurely changed and showered, he raced to the bleachers and up the stairs, seeing Lee already there, with the parchment. He rolled his eyes at them. "I don't see why we have to meet up here."

"Because you're the only one with keys, besides teachers, so no one will overhear us like Harry did." George explained, shutting the door. "Now, let's figure this out. I'll be much happier when the person who thinks Percy is the hottest Weasley is locked up where they can't hurt anyone."

Lee and Fred exchanged a look, making George immediately feel self conscious. "What?" he asked.

"Well, you have to admit that what Harry said made a lot of sense," Lee started. Before he could get much farther, George leaped up from the stool, placing a hand on the console to steady himself.

"No  _ way.” _ he said.

The rest of the team, along with their assorted friends, were blissfully unaware of the heated conversation happening above them. At least they were, until a loud voice started broadcasting over the pitch.

_ “—way.” _

They all looked up, confused, stopping their walk across the pitch. Sure enough, there were figures moving about in the announcer's box.

"Listen, George." Everyone recognized Lee's voice booming over the pitch. "It all makes sense. Oliver frequently wakes up early to play morning quidditch, and when did it appear? In the morning, before any of us were awake."

Percy glanced at Oliver, his lips puckered in a question. Instead of looking equally confused, he just looked very pale. Behind him, Lola, Rosalind, and Penelope were all smiling widely.

"And," this was Fred's voice. "They're roommates. They talk all the time, and have classes together and things."

Roomates with Oliver...Percy realized they were now talking about him. He turned to Alicia, who was closest to him. "What are they talking about?"

Alicia shrugged. "Beats me."

"Listen, George." There was rustling as if someone was standing. "We hate this as much as you do, but you have to agree that the facts are staring us in the face."

George's voice came out shakily. "I can't believe it... Oliver is the one person who thinks that Percy is the hottest Weasley."

Hermione gasped, looking rapidly between the two seventh year boys. Lola and Rosalind were both clutching Penelope's hands tightly, the three of them staring hard at Percy.

"George, move your hand. You'll turn on the... oh no." Lee's voice boomed out again, snapping them out of their stupor.

"What? Is there somet—"

The quidditch pitch had never been so silent, not in the hundreds of years it had stood. The silence was broken by Percy clearing his throat. "Those three never stop, do they? Constantly pranking everyone..."

He was met with unimpressed glares and an elbow to the side. Oliver blinked rapidly, trying to push away his tears. "It wasn't a prank, Percy." he said, glancing for the briefest of seconds at Percy, long enough for him to see the surprise on Percy's face.

Percy stepped forward automatically, bringing himself face to face with Oliver. He noticed that he was taller than Oliver, only slightly. "Hey." he said softly. "Listen, Oliver..."

Oliver still wasn't meeting his gaze, and Percy knew he wouldn't get anywhere with words, so he decided that actions spoke louder anyway. With that, he raised a hand, tilted Oliver's chin up and kissed him.

Hermione gasped again, and Lola started to sob into Penelope's chest, smiling maniacally.

Percy and Oliver missed all of this, of course, because they were too wrapped up in their own world. Oliver froze for a moment, feeling his brain short-circuit. 

WasthisactuallyhappeningwasPercykissinghim.

_ Yes, _ his brain told him.  _ And you're just standing there. Kiss him back, idiot. _

Oliver finally unfroze and he leaned forward, pushing himself into Percy and wrapping his arms around his neck, fingers running through his curly hair.

Fred, George, and Lee finally arrived at the edge of the pitch, their mouths falling open in horror at the sight before them. "We’re too late." Fred bemoaned.

"Oh, thank you so much!" Penelope exclaimed. "We've been trying to get them together all day, and you did it just like that!"

"Oh, Merlin." Lee groaned.

George nodded. "We never should have posted that hottest Weasley notice."


End file.
